PAULA WHYMAN
curiouswriter

In which we wonder about writing, food, music,  
& random curious events. 

I neglected to mention that Susan Coll will read from her new novel, Beach Week, this week.

Thursday, June 3, 7pm
Barnes & Noble
Bethesda Ave. at Woodmont Ave.

See you there!

For more scheduled events, see Susan's website.

I feel privileged to present a guest blog from the funny and talented novelist Susan Coll, whose newest novel, Beach Week, will be available in stores on June 1.



Seeing as Paula was bold enough to guest blog for Alternate Sides about an embarrassing moment in air travel, I thought I’d return the favor with an anecdote about my most embarrassing moment in book promotion. I should probably add, my most embarrassing thus far.

My last novel, Acceptance, was a satire about college admissions hysteria, with some inevitable subtext about the culture of hyper-parenting in the affluent suburbs. Because I approached this book with something of a journalistic eye, interviewing academic deans and admissions officers, and using source material, I came to know a lot about college admissions. I also wrote a piece for the Washington Post Outlook section about helicopter parenting. Somewhere along the way, the line between fact and fiction became a little blurred, I suppose, and I found myself frequently being asked in interviews for advice on raising teens and on shepherding them through the transition to college. These questions caught me off guard each time, but I answered them politely, even somewhat confidently at times---hey, I may not be a child psychologist, but I am a mother!

A couple of months into the book promotion cycle I was invited onto a network news program in the New York City metropolitan area---a small coup for a novelist. Accordingly, I went all out and bought a new brown top from Banana Republic and spent a fair amount of time trying to decide whether or not to wear my glasses. I made my way into the building, past security, and up the elevators at 30 Rock, trying to channel my inner Tina Fey. But the disaster began with the first question, and I never recovered. The young producer, probably just out of college herself, clearly had me confused with Dr. Phil, and began to ask me a series of parenting questions way beyond the range of even a battle-weary mother of three. I tried to fudge my answers for a while until the whole thing began to feel dishonest; I had visions of some aggrieved parent banging on my door demanding to see my Ph.D., and in return I’d slip her a slim comic novel. I finally interrupted the interviewer and asked if she was aware that I had written a novel. Um, no, she was not. The ride back down the elevator was something of a blur, particularly as I’d removed my glasses. The segment never aired. I gave the brown shirt to my daughter and she wore it to a recent interview. At least she got the job.

Susan Coll is the author of four novels, including Acceptance, which was made into a Lifetime Network film starring Joan Cusack. Coll's new novel, Beach Week, is a dark comedy that examines a suburban teenage rite of passage--the adult-free, post-high school trip to the beach. Teenage girls plan an unhinged blowout at the beach, while their misguided, affluent parents are too busy worrying about legal liabilities to fret over some missing pills or random hookups. Beach Week will be available on June 1. Also check out Susan's funny blog, Alternate Sides: Adventures Along the Northeast Corridor.

I think the humiliating book tour story could become a regular feature on this blog, so for those of you who have such tales and are willing to publicly humiliate yourselves (a second time?) for the benefit of...art...please get in touch!

Are you looking for a great opportunity to refine your novel manuscript? You're in luck: Richard Peabody, the incisive and insightful writing instructor, DC literary rainmaker, editor of Gargoyle Magazine and more...is about to reprise his novel workshop, and if you act quickly, you can get one of the few coveted slots.

I first met Richard when I was a student in a short story class he was teaching at The Writer's Center--back when the Center was located above a lamp store on Old Georgetown Road in Bethesda (the Center now has its own building on Walsh St.). One hallmark of Peabody's editing style that I noticed at the time was his penchant for cutting the first 3-5 pages of almost every story, and proclaiming "This story starts HERE," at which point he would mark a paragraph on page 8.

And the thing about it was, he was right.

For those of you who have a deep-seated fear that you started your story, or your book, in the wrong place, well, you probably did. Point is, Richard Peabody taught me a lot about writing and creative judgment. And little did I know that years later, he would even put one of my stories in an anthology.

Peabody's novel class is one of the few--perhaps the only one I've heard of--in which each student's entire novel gets read and commented on. If you're not sure which way to go with your book, if you're stuck trying to figure out how to fix it, polish it, shape it, or teach it to ride a unicycle--Richard Peabody can help.

Richard says he teaches this class because he's learned from hands-on experience that a complete reading and critique of your novel is absolutely the best way to go. The class meets every two weeks to allow time to complete critiques, and students get handwritten notes from each other and from Richard. Students recommend cuts, improvements, make suggestions, and mark the manuscripts up at will.

For more detailed information, dates, cost, etc., please contact Richard Peabody directly at gargoyle at gargoylemagazine dot com.

(So, Richard, did I start this post in the right place...?)

To: Manager, Independence Federal Savings Bank, Friendship Heights, Md.

Dear Sir,

Today, I stopped into your bank after a nearby appointment, because I was out of quarters for parking meters. I park in a place that requires a lot of quarters. I could have gone to my own bank, but your bank was right there, and my bank wasn't.

To be frank, I was hesitant to stop at your bank for this purpose, because I did so once before, and although I was the only customer in the branch, the process was slower than waiting for Metro on a Sunday, and I probably could have driven to my own bank, bought quarters, parked and arrived at my office in the time that it took to get two rolls of quarters in your branch. However, there I was, right in front of your bank, and there I was, out of quarters, so... I thought to give it another chance. Everyone has an off day now and then.

But it was not to be. As soon as I walked in, you asked my purpose, and when I stated it (to buy some quarters), you asked if I had an account at your bank. I do not. However, this is the kind of goodwill behavior that encourages people to become customers. As in, 'Gee, they were so nice when I asked for quarters. When I open that new account, I'll take a look at their interest rates.'

But as I said, it was not to be. You told me that you charge customers a fee to give them quarters. Really? I said. That's odd. Why would you do that?

Because it's a way for the bank to make money, you said.

Oh. Okay, but the usual way for a bank to make money is by giving customers a loan and charging them interest. A loan is when the bank gives the customer money, and the customer doesn't give the bank any money at first, until later when the customer gives them a lot.

In this case, on the other hand, the customer gives the bank a $20 bill, and the bank gives the customer twenty dollars back, in the form of quarters. Note that the customer has given the bank THE EXACT SAME AMOUNT OF MONEY the bank then gives the customer. In fact, it's as if the exchange never took place. Unless of course there is a run on quarters, and the bank runs low, which I've never seen happen. Although, in a town of parking meters, this is a distinct possibility.

Now, it is entirely possible that you just don't like me, that you didn't feel like getting the quarters, that you were busy with much more important banklike business (because again, I was the only customer in the room), or maybe you were just having a bad day. There might be great things about your bank, as in, the coffee might be really tasty. (I saw it there, but I didn't take any. I was only there for quarters.) But I will never know any of this because I am unlikely to ever become a customer at your bank.

In the end, I left your bank and drove to my bank. When I told the tellers there what happened at your bank, they both exclaimed, Huh? and their faces contorted into an expression like the kind you'd get if you drank some very bitter coffee. (I'm not saying the coffee in your branch is bitter; like I said, I didn't even try it.)

I hope that the next time someone comes into your branch looking to exchange money for money, you will perhaps see this transaction in a different light, as a customer relations opportunity. I will, however, stick with my bank, because I like that the tellers there make funny faces when the situation warrants.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

C.W.

Author C. M. Mayo has been living in and writing about Mexico for many years. Luckily for me, she also spends a good bit of time in Washington, DC, and I've had the chance to chat with her on many occasions. Not only is she a wonderful writer, she is full of helpful information, innovative ideas, and contagious enthusiasm for all things writing-related, and she doesn't mind sharing with the writing and blogging community at large, to our great advantage. See for instance, her tips on "How to hang in there and finish your novel" (yes, I'm taking copious notes...) on Leslie Pietrzyk's fabulous Work-in-Progress blog.

If you have not already had the pleasure of reading C.M. Mayo's novel, The Last Prince of the Mexican Empire, which was a Library Journal Best Book of 2009, rush out and get the paperback, which is now available. The Last Prince follows Maximilian’s short-lived career as the unfortunate Emperor of Mexico, and focuses specifically on his doomed adoption of a half-Mexican, half-American boy he chooses to be his heir. This little-known and fascinating piece of history is brought to life in Mayo's novel.

Publisher's Weekly calls The Last Prince of the Mexican Empire, "an engaging story brimming with majestic ambition."

Library Review says, "Mayo's cultural insights are first-rate, and the glittering, doomed regime comes to life."



Mayo's story collection, Sky Over El Nido, won the Flannery O'Connor Award for Short Fiction. She is also the author of the widely acclaimed travel memoir, Miraculous Air: Journey of a Thousand Miles through Baja California, the Other Mexico; and the anthology, Mexico: A Traveler s Literary Companion. Mayo is an avid translator and editor of contemporary Mexican literature.

Here, you can watch an interview with C.M. Mayo on WETA's Book Studio, hosted by Bethanne Patrick.

Here, you will find Mayo's Library of Congress lecture about her novel.

C.M. Mayo is a blogger extraordinaire, writing-savvy and internet-savvy, and she can be found in that incarnation at Madam Mayo. I especially admire her writing exercises, known as C.M. Mayo's Giant Golden Buddha and 364 More Daily 5-Minute Writing Exercises. Honestly, I don't know where she gets the energy for all she does! I wish I could borrow one-tenth of it now and then. Maybe when she takes a rare nap, she wouldn't mind... Madam Mayo, do you nap?

Reading heavy metal lyrics is never a good idea.

The lover of life's not a sinner;
The ending is just a beginner.
The closer you get to the meaning,
The sooner you'll know that you're dreaming.*
[from Heaven & Hell]

Um, yeah.

Anyway, it sounds good when Dio sings it.

For those of you who might not be aware, there has been a debate raging among many heavy metal fans for, oh, about 30 years now, regarding which Black Sabbath performer is superior, Ozzy or Ronnie. Ronnie Dio replaced Ozzy Osbourne as lead singer beginning in 1980, with the band's album, Heaven and Hell, widely regarded as one of the best heavy metal albums ever made. Well, I don't think I can speak personally to the subtleties of the form. I think both men do what they do rather well, but Dio has a better singing voice. There I said it. Except, now Ozzy has outlived him. So, who wins?

Join me this Sunday, May 16, at the Writer's Center in Bethesda to hear two very accomplished Washington women read from their work.

Ann McLaughlin, with whom I was lucky enough to be in a writing group, will read from her new novel, Bayberry House, the story of two sisters who meet at their deceased parents’ country house to prepare it for sale. Their father committed suicide in the house years ago, and their return to the house spurs a return to bittersweet memories.

Ann McLaughlin's previous work includes five novels: The House on Q Street, Maiden Voyage, Lightning in July, The Balancing Pole and Sunset at Rosalie. You can read more about Ann and her work at Leslie Pietrzyk's Work-in-Progress blog.

Myra Sklarew, poet and past Professor at American University, where I was lucky enough to meet her, will read from Harmless, her new collection of poems published by Mayapple Press. Her past collections include Lithuania: New & Selected Poems, and The Witness Trees. Sklarew also writes nonfiction, and her book Holocaust and the Construction of Memory is forthcoming from SUNY Press.

Details, Details:

Sunday, May 16, 2pm
The Writer's Center
4508 Walsh St., Bethesda, MD

See you there!

Author Debra Galant has me thinking about cars. I am a person who can mark time by the types of cars I've owned--or didn't own. From my grandmother's '63 Chevy Bel Air, which didn't survive quite long enough for me to get my driver's license, to my first car, a '68 Dodge Coronet 440 (the only car my dad ever bought new)--which did survive, barely, unless you factor in how it would stall out every time I was about to turn left across three lanes of oncoming traffic. The car I drive today is the first one I really chose for myself, plus it has XM radio (my first one only had AM...), so it's my favorite.

Now, Debra Galant has brought us the funny, poignant new novel, Cars From a Marriage, which charts the important events--big and small--in one couple's relationship by way of the automobiles that drive them throughout the course of their lives. The cars steer the reader from Ivy and Ellis's first meeting, to their first fight, and down the line to a family funeral. Finally, on a drive along the Pacific Coast Highway, Ivy and Ellis come to some serious and illuminating realizations about their lives.

Publisher's Weekly calls it "an affecting and strikingly honest look at a marriage."


In an interview from Crazy for Books, Galant talks about the slightly nontraditional structure of the book:

Unlike my first two books, “Rattled” and “Fear and Yoga in New Jersey,” which are satires, “Cars from a Marriage” strove to tell a really nuanced story of the way romantic love fades over the course of a marriage. With each successive chapter, Ivy and Ellis grow further apart, telling secrets to the reader that they wouldn’t dare tell each other. This breaks one of the rules of fiction writing, which requires a single protagonist. Because Ivy and Ellis get equal weight in the story, sympathy shifts between them. In a way, the protagonist of “Cars from a Marriage” turns out to be the marriage.

Crazy for Books says the author "deftly navigates" through the lives of this couple "with humor and insight."

You can also hear Ms. Galant discuss her book in this interview with Brian Lehrer on WNYC radio.

Full disclosure: I met Debra Galant during a residency at the VCCA, where she hooked me into playing the diabolical, addicting game known as Ex Libris. I was daily entertained by her perceptive wit, and I had the opportunity to hear her read from her funny and absorbing work. I highly recommend it!

It's not often that I'm moved enough to write a letter to a newspaper, but when I read about the motive behind an increase in local parking fees, I couldn't stop myself. It just happened. Because when absurd "logic" presents itself for ridicule on a silver platter, it's awfully hard to say, oh, yeah, thanks, I'll swallow that. So, yes, I wrote my first letter to our local newspaper, the Gazette, in response to the local planners' contention that slightly higher parking fees will discourage people from driving to work here, rather than taking Metro. You see, less traffic is needed in order to pretend we aren't maxed out in infrastructure, and then more buildings can be built. Which will result in more traffic. You get the picture.

You can read the letter online: "Bethesda 'Plan' Is More Like Fantasy." If you're lucky enough to live here, you can also find it in the print edition that's delivered today.