PAULA WHYMAN

I am a sucker for cooking p*rn, that has been well-established. However, I'm conservative (my All-Clad and Le Creuset were bought at half-price, thank you very much). I'm also strongly aligned against single-purpose kitchen tools. You will never see, for instance, a corn kernel cutter or a pineapple wedger in my kitchen. I don't like gimmicks, generally, so when I bought a nylon micro-cooker (for steaming vegetables in the microwave), I ended up using it to wash my kids' hair in the bathtub. (It has a spout, which is perfect for this job, whereas a glass bowl works fine for the vegetables...but not for washing hair.)

So what was I doing at a Pampered Chef party today?

Buying stuff, of course.

I came with a list, and it did not include a new can opener. Then the rep punched up her demonstration by announcing, "This can opener will change your life."

How will it change your life, you ask? It opens the can without leaving a sharp edge, so you can remove the lid with your fingers and not cut yourself.

Obvious metaphor alert: Remove all the sharp edges from your life. An appealing idea, isn't it? If only it were that easy.

But is that really what we want? Bloody fingers are painful and messy, and no one wants that, of course. But what part of the experience do we miss by eliminating danger? I use 16,000 btu's for wok-cooking (more would be even better), and then I get burned, but if I don't do it, everything cooks too long, and it's bland and boring.

Still, if all it took was a can opener, who could resist?

Which is to say, Reader: I bought the can opener. The metaphor only goes so far.


For more on my favorite kitchen toys, see my guest blog at Madam Mayo's site.