I know I'm not supposed to be joking about this, but what should I do, cry?
So, I went into the bank today to get some money, and they still had some there, much to my surprise. Given what I've been hearing in the news, I expected all the teller windows to be shut, and "Come back later" scrawled with a Sharpie on the outside. The bank manager asked if he could help me (usually, in the bank, they ignore me--maybe I looked dangerously deranged?). So I told him I wanted to make a withdrawal and transfer some funds to the Mattress Account. His smile frozen in place, he said, amiably, "We try not to make jokes like that here..."
Why did he think I was joking?
Maybe it would help if they still gave out toasters. I'd like a 6-slice, please.