PAULA WHYMAN

  curiouswriter

It's the Rev. Jeremiah Wright. Whew! That didn't take long, did it? Also,
since Wright isn't related to Obama, there may still be another Billy
Carter waiting in the wings. And we can only presume it'll be one of
those small-town Pennsylvania types who clings in desperation to his
guns and his religion, since these folks are more embarrassing and
pathetic to the candidate, apparently, than Rev. Wright. (See 1980 Curiosities for my earlier post on this key issue in the presidential campaign.)

This is where old blog posts will live until the auto-archive kicks in.  So, for now, these can be read, but they're no longer open to comments. 

We already know who Sen. Clinton's running mate would be (or should
be), but Obama doesn't really need Sen. Clinton on his ticket.  So,
whom does he need?

 And, is it any coincidence that I keep
getting emails from the John Kerry camp in support of the Obama
campaign?  Is it possible that Kerry has his eye on the number 2 slot?
(I doubt it, actually; so, why?  What's his angle?  I mean, beyond
wanting a Democrat to win.  Does he want a cabinet position?  Defense
Secretary Kerry?) A

And what about John Edwards?  He already
said he's not interested (always a bridesmaid...). Does he mean it?
Or is he just playing hard-to-get?

And, finally, for those of you who
still hold out hope that Al Gore will step into the picture (you know
who you are, both of you), stop!  Please.  He has a Nobel.  Running for
President is so last century.

Hillary Clinton asks Barack Obama on a date, and he
says...nothing! Ouch. (Hate it when they don't even bother to call.
Maybe he'll wait until next Wednesday...yeah, midweek. That's the
ticket.)

Nader is poised to do...nothing!

And, finally:

Bush's endorsement of McCain means...nothing!

Did Someone Say "Hillbama"?

Yes, and her name was Hillary Clinton.

She must have read my carpool poll! (See below)

After winning in Ohio and Texas, Clinton all but invited Barack
Obama to be her running mate. But how come he never said the same thing
when he was in the midst of a winning streak? Come on, Sen. Obama,
smart girls want to be asked to the Prom, too. (Probably he knows it
wouldn't help him win Prom King.)

Maybe next time Sen. Clinton should do a ride-along with our
carpool. (We've got a third row of seats, Senator!) She'd learn, for
one thing, that the carpool is evenly split among Obama-Clinton-McCain.
She'd also learn that the kids are worried she couldn't beat McCain
because there are actual living breathing Dems who would vote for him
if their sole Democratic option was Sen. Clinton. (Can I just say, to
those people-- What are you, nuts? Let's just think hard about this for
a moment... So you have an extreme aversion to Sen. Clinton, but can
you truly believe that McCain is the better choice to rescue our
country from its prolonged international embarrassment? And what the
heck is that thing growing on the side of his face? I think he's
housing a covert campaign advisor in his jowl. Maybe it's Karl
Rove--Haven't seen Rove lately, have we...?)

Even Bush very reluctantly endorsed McCain, with a look on his
face like he'd just stuck his nose in an old gym shoe and now he was
being asked to snuggle up to it, and this can only help--the Democrats.

This week in carpool, we'll also discuss the Nader factor, which
I'm putting at a big Nada this time. And that better be the case. Do
you hear me?? Spoiler??

(Curiouswriter is feeling unusually restless today, having
broken her toe, which prevents her from jogging and forces her to wear
socks with sandals in public, which in turn causes her to channel,
alternately, Republicans, residents of Vermont, and old men at the
beach. She bets Nader wears socks with sandals all the time. We'll see
what our panel of experts thinks.)

The carpool on primary night consisted of a
representative sample of 3rd and 4th grade boys. Based on the
assumption that the Democratic ticket will consist of Barack Obama and
Hillary Clinton (perhaps a faulty assumption, but I don't think
9-year-old boys are the only ones with this idea...), we set out to
find an appropriate name for the ticket, on the order of "TomKat" and
"Brangelina."

Proposals included the fanciful Hilrack Clinbama and the more prosaic Barry Obinton, but the top choices were HILLBAMA and OBILLARY. The latter could be interpreted to also include Bill Clinton, though I'm assured that it's not meant to... So, HILLBAMA emerged as the clear favorite.

If Sen. Obama is the presidential nominee, I'm
not sure he'd accept the position of second half of the uni-name, but
I'm guessing that if Sen. Clinton is willing to play second fiddle
(again), which in itself seems unlikely, she's going to bargain for
that first position even if it's in name only.

Now why don't exit polls ever ask the really important questions?

Curiouswriter responds: O Anonymous Poster: I liked the Huckabees movie. If only the candidate were fictional as well.

Holy Hairpiece, Batman! You're right, no Joe! He dropped out when no one was paying attention...And no one paid attention.

1. Everytime I hear Huckabee's name I think of that awful movie. Too
bad Microsoft Word doesn't have a heart with a slash through it. 2. How
can we be having a Chesapeake primary without Joe Biden? I can't
believe this is happening. --Anonymous

Curiouswriter responds:

O Yet Another Anonymous Poster: Sen. Clinton has no doubt spent more
time on the Dulles Toll Road than Sen. Obama. If he had been in the
Senate a little longer, in fact, dare I suggest that perhaps if he had
traveled on some more diplomatic missions, then perhaps he would not be
so uncertain. The other problem at Dulles is the length of time it
takes visitors to go through customs and the shabby condition of that
entry area. It's an embarrassment, compared with other countries.­

This morning on the radio, Hillary was interviewed regarding extension
of the metro to Dulles which she feels is very important and which she
plans to accomplish. When Obama was interviewed, he didn't know much
about it so was noncommital. He keeps talking about changing our
country and the world. Personally, I think the amount of money spent on
this lengthy campaign is sinful. --Anonymous

­

Curiouswriter comments: Here are some of the questions I have as I consider my options for Tuesday...

Obama didn't vote for the war in Iraq, true. But he wasn't in the Senate then, so...that's a pretty easy out.

Yes, he's a lovely speaker, but what exactly has he said that no
one else has said? What has he proposed that no one else has proposed,
and how many details has he provided regarding how he plans to do what
he says he will do? (And, btw, is he still wearing a nicotine patch?)

Yes, I get that town halls, speeches, and debates don't allow
much room for specifics. But politicians are notoriously good at
avoiding specifics, and both of these candidates are good politicians.

Aren't both of these candidates advocating "change"?

A lot of men (and a lot of women) dislike Hillary Clinton's
strident tone; some of her votes as a Senator are worrisome, as are
some of her positions on the issues. But how would these same aspects
of her personality and her record be seen if she were a man? Can she
find the right balance to "please" voters--being emotional without
being accused of being too emotional, and tough without being accused
of being

bitchy?

Is charm the primary trait we look for in a U.S. President? Are we really that shallow? (Who just said yes?)

Some people find Hillary Clinton's husband annoying. I daresay,
however, that she won't be fooling around with any interns in the Oval
Office.

It's pretty clear that the media favor Barack. See, if you will,
the Washington Post Sunday 2/10. Two photos on the front page, but
Obama is above the fold, and Clinton is below it. The candidates were
at the same event, yet she's pictured alone on a podium, while Obama is
pictured with "fans."

Which one of these candidates will have a head start in trying
to solve our international "image" problem? Hint, hint: Europe loved
Bill Clinton.

And, why did Massachusetts go for Hillary, even after Barack got
Ted Kennedy's endorsement? And with what brush can we expect Obama to
be painted by the conservative right when they derisively discuss this
endorsement, even with their perhaps more moderate constituencies? And
how will Obama combat this description?

Finally, has anyone forgotten Mike Dukakis and the Army tank?

Other than Scarsdale, I once did

Slimfast. Mmm, tasty. But I must have missed that part about not eating

anything else... And in college, I think there was a week where a few

of us tried to only eat oranges. And maybe No-Doz. The only thing that

really works is exercise. And red wine, purely for medicinal purposes, mind you.

If, like Lana, you guessed that I was an extra in the Tim Burton film
"Mars Attacks," you're correct. The movie, a parody of alien invasion
films, came out in 1996. Critics were divided about whether the movie
was just bad or in fact incredibly awful. I think it was misunderstood,
personally. Especially the fine work of the extras, without whom there
would've been no one to look on in horror as the spaceship landed in
front of the Capitol.

For the filming, I arrived at a scary underpass in SE DC at 6am,
got on the production company bus, where I was treated to an early
morning viewing of the movie Assassin staring Antonio Banderas (if you
remember this movie, you'll note that it was extremely bloody and
violent; I felt like I was going through desensitization training. When
I got off the bus, I was given a donut: That's a good girl...). Anyway,
I lasted through 12 hours of terrible boredom, hobnobbing with the
stars, that is, the career extras whose headshots were printed on their
business cards. There were famous people there, but they were not
standing next to the space heater in the freezing cold tent in the
middle of February. They were getting their scenes so wrong that the
scene with all the extras was not filmed until about 4pm. The rayon on
my pants was melting I was so close to that heater. Large numbers of
people gathered inside the botanical gardens for the heat and didn't
hear when the scene was finally called. The scene consisted of a lot of
us standing on the steps across from the Capitol and pretending to
watch a spaceship land, lifting our faces up in unison to see it
hovering. After that, I rushed to my evening class, still with all the
movie make-up on and, best of all, the retro bouffant hairstyle... Why
did I do this? I was going to write about it. And see, now I have.

Curiouswriter Responds:

O
Anonymous Poster - Yeah, okay, not ha-ha funny, but I think some of it
is, in a dark sort of way. Really, a character who's a nubile young
girl named "Dewey Dell"? How can I not at least snicker? 

I haven't seen Be Kind Rewind yet, but as you've
no doubt noticed, you might not find a "grown-up" opinion here... Just
this morning I was talking about the movie Eastern Promises with some
other writer friends. We all said we liked the movie, and yet I
wondered how the sauna scene could not remind people of Borat?

As I Lay Dying is FUNNY? Geez, Faulkner must have had a real penchant
for irony. And obviously no publicist. I appreciate the advice,
especially the cinematic options. Curious: have you or anyone else
reading seen Be Kind Rewind? The premise has me intrigued, but I could
use a lit-minded grownup opinion.... --Anonymous

Curiouswriter Responds:

O
Anonymous, and Yet Still Brave, Poster - There's still time. May I
recommend, in lieu of reading Hamlet, see the movie (if you haven't).
The Kenneth Branagh version, which is, I believe, 3 hours long. If you
follow along in the book, you'll see that very little is left out, and
you might not even feel like you're getting "cul-chah". Do NOT bother
with the Mel Gibson version. Please. Branagh IS the Dane. As for Moby
Dick, I think you kind of have to get into it, and then it gets good
in, you know, the whale part. Don't tell Mr. Holland, my 11th grade
teacher, because I was supposed to read it for his class, and I sooo
didn't. But I did finally read it in grad school. Now, about Faulkner,
personally, I think Faulkner is fun. If time is an issue, pick up one
of the short stories--Barn Burning, or The Bear (did I get that
right?). As I Lay Dying is funny, and not very long. Okay, maybe it
wasn't supposed to be funny? But I loved it. What I'm saying is,
there's a reason some of these stories are still being read. They can
actually be entertaining. Now, take your medicine.

I never read Hamlet or Moby Dick! And I never finished a Faulkner novel. THere, I feel better.--Anonymous

Curiouswriter Comments:

In David Lodge's book, Changing Places, the protagonist (a lit
professor) wins a game of "Humiliation" by admitting that he hasn't
read Hamlet. What's your guilty secret? What books do you wish you'd
read by now? What books have you pretended to read after reading only
the NYT review? (Come on, we've all done it.)

I finally read Crime and Punishment last year.

If you don't want to admit to missing out on a classic, what
contemporary book have you not read that "everyone" seems to have read?
I haven't read The Kite Runner. I haven't read Harry Potter, although I
skimmed the last chapter of the final book so I could know what to
expect when my son read it. I haven't read any Don DeLillo or any of
Updike's Rabbit books. I haven't read The Corrections. That doesn't
mean I don't want to, I just haven't got around to it yet. So...what
are you hoping to get around to?

Or how about this--Saw the movie, but have you read the book?

Atonement

The English Patient

Wonder Boys

The Hours